Ho Jaa zaraa matlabi... Let us be Mean

🌍 The Age of Transactional Relationships

 

“No matter how strong your opinions are, unless you use your power for positive change, you’re part of the problem.”

— Coretta Scott King

As we look around today’s world, one thing becomes clear: the very fabric of human relationships is undergoing a dramatic shift. The age-old values of loyalty, ethics, and selflessness are fading, replaced by a new reality — transactional relationships.

Whether it’s personal bonds, professional networks, or diplomatic alliances, one question now dominates every interaction: “What’s in it for me?”

💔 From Bonds of Love to Deals of Convenience

Gone are the days when relationships were built on unconditional trust and emotional investment. Today, they’re largely shaped by mutual utility and personal gain. Even within families, where love once transcended logic, emotional support is often replaced by expectations of benefit.

Let us consider the decline of the joint family system in India. Once a pillar of support and unity, it has been steadily replaced by nuclear families—and even these often function under unspoken contracts of utility.

Remember the old saying, “sons are the walking stick of old age”? In today’s world, that ideal feels almost outdated. The message is clear: stay relevant—even to your own kin. Blind emotional sacrifice, without utility, often leads to neglect.

🌐 On the Global Stage: Interests Trump Ideals

This shift isn’t limited to families or individuals. At the international level, transactional diplomacy is the name of the game.

Many in India were shocked when Pakistan’s Army Chief, Field Marshal Asim Munir Saeed, was invited to the U.S. Army Day celebrations in June 2025. But outrage misses the point—it’s pure geopolitics. The U.S. likely sees strategic value in him. Consider Pakistan’s $40 billion IMF loan despite its long history with terrorism. Some speculate the U.S. is eyeing Balochistan’s mineral wealth—before China can get to it.

Why does the West continue to engage Pakistan, despite its troubling record? Simple. Pakistan has always aligned itself with Western interests—for the right price. Meanwhile, India’s non-alignment policy and emphasis on strategic autonomy, going back to Nehru, have often kept it outside favoured Western circles.

Even India’s longstanding ties with the Soviet Union—and now Russia—are rooted in strategic advantage, not sentimentality. Whether it’s access to cheap oil, defence systems like the S-400, or the co-development of the BrahMos missile, the motivation has always been clear: national interest.

Today, as the U.S. courts India, it’s not because we’re both vibrant democracies—it’s because India is key to countering China’s rise. Similarly, India partners with the U.S. for the same reason. Let’s not mistake shared interest for friendship. The U.S. has historically backed autocracies (including Pakistan and Bangladesh) when convenient. China’s support for Pakistan, too, serves a simple aim: to keep India in check.

💼 The Business of Relationships

In the corporate world, this transactional mindset is even more pronounced.

Let us take the illustration of Elon Musk. Once a vocal supporter of Donald Trump—even contributing financially to his campaign—Musk distanced himself when Trump’s tariff policies threatened Tesla’s bottom line. It was business over loyalty, strategy over sentiment.

Across industries and borders, business relationships are built on one thing: mutual benefit. Emotion has little space in boardrooms.

🧠 Adapting to a Changing World

We live in a constantly evolving world. Clinging to outdated ideals is like trying to anchor yourself in shifting sand. British philosopher Bertrand Russell once put it brilliantly. When asked if he would die for his principles, he replied: “No. Because I might be wrong.”

Rigidity in relationships, like still water, starts to decay. Flexibility, adaptability, and relevance—these are the traits that keep us moving forward. As the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Proximity without purpose can lead to conflict.

💡 The Takeaway

In this age of transactional dynamics:

• Preserve your value

• Stay relevant

• Be strategic

A little self-interest isn’t selfish—it’s smart. Selflessness without reciprocity rarely yields lasting outcomes in today’s world.

Let’s leave you with the wise words of Alan Watts:

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”