Saturday, 5 April 2008

A story - A moral - A review

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A father was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.


The Father asked his son, "What is this?"


The son replied "It is a crow".


After a few minutes, the Father asked his son the 2nd time, "What is this?"


The son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".


After a little while, the old Father again asked his son the 3rd time, what is this?"


At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".


A little after, the Father again asked his son the 4th time, "What is this?"


This time the son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Can’t you understand this?"


A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his son was born. On opening a page, he asked his son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary:-


"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".


While the little child asked him the same question for 23 times, the father had felt no irritation in replying it every time and when today the father asked his son the same question just 4 times, the son felt irritated and annoyed.


MORAL: If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word; be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.


From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today. They have always showered their selfless love on me”.


Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave".
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While I do agree with the moral and lesson that this epistle had taught us, I beg to differ on the analogy cited above. It is quite natural to expect a small kid or child to keep asking questions repeatedly. This is because they are in the stage of learning and they are supposed to ask questions repeatedly. However, this is not the case with elders. If elders repeatedly keep asking such questions (as cited above), it is obvious that one gets irritated. Had the grand father of the son questioned the father like this, would have he kept his cool? I doubt.



Another aspect is; we say parents shower selfless love on their kids. If they had showered selfless love, why do they expect their kids to take care of them when they turn old? Does it not contradict the world “selfless”? Is it true that they shower all the love and care only to be reciprocated at later stages? Let us be practical. If they had showered selfless love on us, they should not expect us to take care of them at their old age.


I do agree that at older age they need more care but not compassion. When it comes to the behavioral pattern, it matters. Will any of the parents allow their kids to misbehave? If they don’t, why should not the kids have a control on their parents if they misbehaved?


Slowly, in our country, it is happening that the older ones are neglected by their kith and kin and they take refuge in old-age-homes. There are certain parents who are with negative-self-esteem, literally frustrate their kith and kin with their behavior. How about them?


I fully recommend that it is the duty of the kids to take care of their parents when they turn old. At the same time, the parents, being elder and more matured, should behave in a way that they do not cause any irritations. For illustration, taking decisions pertaining to house-hold chorus is the major cause of confusion. For parents, kids always remain kids. However, they should realize that their kids also now own a family and they are matured enough to take their own decisions.


With the gap of generations, many a times, their decisions would prove worth than that of the older ones. Parents should not feel they are isolated if they are not involved in such decision making. They should not feel neglected out, if they were taken out – at the least their kids also need some privacy. Parents should not look for an opportunity to prove their presence. Whether they contribute or not, they will be taken care. This assurance should be given by the kids. Unless such things happen mutually, such stories will keep coming on the net.

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