20 Golden Rules for any Office

Rule 1: The Boss is always right.

Rule 2: If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

Rule 3: Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks & promotions.

Rule 4: Ph.D stands for “Pull him down”. The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons engaged in pulling that person down.

Rule 5: If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

Rule 6: When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

Rule 7: It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.

Rule 8: A pat on the back is only few centimeters from the kick in the butt.

Rule 9: Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

Rule 10: The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

Rule 11: If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Rule 12: When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Rule 13: Following the rules will not get the job done.

Rule 14: If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Rule 15: Everything can be filed under “Miscellaneous”.

Rule 16: No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

Rule 17: You can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work you are supposed to be doing.

Rule 18: In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

Rule 19: In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

Rule 20: The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.