Friday 24 August 2007

Phrases to Use in Any Report

"It has long been known."
...I didn't look up the original reference.

"A definite trend is evident."
...This data is practically meaningless.

"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions..."
...An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study."
...The other results didn't make any sense.

"Typical results are shown."
...This is the prettiest graph.

"These results will be in a subsequent report."
...I might get around to this sometime, if pushed or funded.

"In my experience..."
...Once.

"In case after case..."
...Twice.

"In a series of cases..."
...Thrice.

"It is believed that."
...I think.

"It is generally believed that."
...A couple of others think so too, like my wife and mother.

"Correct within an order of magnitude."
...Wrong.

"According to statistical analysis."
... Rumor has it.

"A statistically-oriented projection of the significance of these findings."
...A wild guess.

"A careful analysis of obtainable data."
...Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of Coors beer.

"It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon can be explained."
...I don't understand it at all.

"After additional study by my colleagues."
...They don't understand it either.

"A highly significant area for exploratory study."
...A totally useless topic selected by my PhD committee.

"This field is open for further study."
...I quit!

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